Day 7 - To My Ex-Boyfriend

Hey there.

Quite honestly, I don't really know what to write. After all, if I had been asked to write this letter a week ago, I wouldn't have anyone to address it to ... or maybe I wouldn't have anyone to formally address it to. That might not make sense. I guess I had an inkling that this letter would have a recipient soon enough, but I just didn't really know when. I could feel going down to Baton Rouge this last time that something was different - that something was going to change. And, sure enough, it did.

It's been six days. And so much has happened in those six days: I came back from Baton Rouge, we broke up, I moved back to Ann Arbor (what feels like my true home), I've started classes, and have made progress in work.  I'm not really sure exactly what you've been up to - we talked for a little bit yesterday but it didn't seem like anything outstanding was said. But with everything going on recently, I don't really think that I've had time to comprehend the fact that we're not together anymore.

But then again, I'm not quite sure whether I really believed we were together. It's strange, because I knew in my heart that we were, but I don't think my brain ever fully comprehended that not-so-minor detail. Now it doesn't have to.

Everything was mutual ... or at least that's how I'd like to perceive it. I know that things may not be the best right now, but I guess I have faith that everything will end up alright eventually. This is what was the best for both of us ... or, rather, this was what was best for our relationship.

We'll still talk, if you're okay with that. Because I honestly don't know what I'd do without you in my life. I'm just really hoping that you will want to stay friends.

Well ... I guess that's all for now. But don't worry ... there'll be more to come.

Day 6 - A Stranger

Hello. You are amazing.

When I first saw you, I thought you were just yawning or something, but when you continued to walk across the length of the Diag without closing your mouth, you reminded me of a shark I saw in the New Orleans aquarium whose bottom jaw couldn't move. Your short spiky hair gave the appearance of rows of teeth, and you were even wearing a grey sweatshirt. I honestly hope that you are majoring in something to do with sharks. Or love them, and have posters all over your room.

When you started waving frantically to a friend who hadn't seen you yet, you kind of resembled a T-Rex, with the big head/mouth and little tiny arms. The image was made even better with the fact that your sweatshirt sleeves were too long, so they were flapping around in the cold.

I'm not quite sure why you had your mouth open, nor do I know why it was so urgent to get your friend's attention. But I do know that watching you walk today the way you did gave me more enjoyment than you probably realize. I understand that I may never see you again, and, on a certain level, that's okay with me, because if I saw you again and you no longer resembled a shark/T-Rex, I know I would be disappointed. But I do hope that you'll do something else that will make someone else smile and chuckle.

So thank you, T-Rex shark man. For making my day a little bit brighter.

Day 5 - My Dreams

This is so general, I don't know even where to start. I mean, I have lots of different types of dreams. The kinds that come at night, short-term and long-term goals for myself, as well as my hopes for the future of our society.

Last night I dreamed about Bear Bryant. I may be slightly obsessed with the former University of Alabama football coach, but I'm not ashamed. He was amazing. I mean, he held (and may still hold) the record for most career wins, and coached for over 50 years of his life .... football wasn't just a game, it was truly his life and soul. I guess it wasn't that strange to see him in my dream - I was starting classes and he just came to my dorm room and gave me words of encouragement. Well .... maybe 'encouragement' isn't the right word .... he basically told me not to fail, otherwise the entire university would look down on me. But that was his form of a pep talk. And it worked. The Bear always wanted his players to become the best men that they could be, and part of me hopes to live up to his expectations, regardless of the fact that I never met the legend, and he passed away before I was alive.

I guess my main hope right now is to do well in what I love, and to be good enough to not be forgotten. I want to be like the Bear in this sense: I want what I do to not be a job, I want it to be what I breathe, dream, and live for. I may not know what I want to do in the future right this moment, but I dream that one day my children, or even grandchildren, can look back and say, "Yeah, that was my mom (or grandma). Look at what she did." I want them to be proud of me for how much I have pushed myself and how far I've reached to be the best that I can be. Maybe I'll only become a housewife, or maybe I'll be an executive at one place or another. But my only hope is that I can make it wherever I'm going and love it all the time. Because, after all, why have a dream if I'm only going to be disappointed and unhappy once I finish the journey there?

Day 4 - To My Brother

Rob-

My how the times have changed. I remember (or rather, everyone else remembers) when you were just Rubba to me. You were the big brother who wanted to protect his baby sister, the boy who wanted to make sure I was happy all the time. As our personalities have developed, we've had our number of spats, but even through the rough patches, we're always there for each other.

You put up with me, and have helped me more over the years than I could even imagine: from moving furniture to giving food and store advice, from being a chauffeur to being a partner in crime, from telling me the harsh reality of life to giving great big hugs, it seems as if we've been through it all together. Or at least most of it together.

I never really realized how much of a blessing it would be to attend school with you, and just knowing that you're across campus is a huge relief. You've gone above and beyond to make sure that I'm doing alright, and though I know that Mom and Dad put you up to some of it, you still deserve a huge thank you. And maybe a couple of batches of cookies. :)

Day 3 - To My Parents

This post seems especially relevant - in the past 48 hours, I have had to say goodbye to both of my parents. Saturday morning my mom, brother, and I left Baton Rouge (where my dad works) to return up north for school. Just this morning, I left my hometown to come back to school.

I don't even know how to start this, other than to say thank you. You have raised me to be a wonderful person (if I can say so myself), and have supported me through everything: horseback riding, figure skating, tennis, golf, school, clubs, college, life. I know we've had our little spats, our little "you're not the boss of me" moments, the "Sue me," "Fine, I get Dad" arguments. But everything always ends up alright.

This past year has been tough on all of us. But we've made it through it, and I'd like to think that I'm no more worse for wear. It has taught me so much more than I thought that I could learn; I've learned to get over my fear of flying, because I know know that whenever I get on a plane, it'll be worth it; I've learned that family is more important than anything, and to not take it for granted. Ever.

I know that I can be stubborn, indecisive, temperamental, emotional, distant, stressed, and argumentative. But you've always loved me. Even when I am at my worst, I know that you two will always be there fore me: Mom with the hugs and reassuring words, Dad with the phone for pizza and ice cream.

So thank you. For being my supporters. For taking the bad with the good. For putting up with me. And for always being there for me. I love you both too much to even describe.

Day 2 - To My Crush

You're my on-again, off-again crush.

At first, I hated you - I thought you were the most annoying person to ever walk the planet. You teased me and flustered me, and, quite frankly, I had no idea what to do with you. But the more time we spent together, the more I realized that your teasing was only in jest, and we became closer.

Now I don't see you as much. I'm somewhat disappointed, but also realize that maybe it's for the better. Our relationship probably wouldn't have worked, no matter how much I willed it to. And I only saw one aspect of your life - I know it would be next to impossible to take the leap from only knowing one side of you to trying to grasp all aspects, because you're somewhat complex. It was also dangerous for me to like you - I was in no position to want you, but yet a part of me did. You were a temptation, and though neither of us acted upon anything, the enticement was still there. And it scared me to death.

Nevertheless, I do wish we could stay in touch. Our friendship may strengthen or weaken over time, and who know? You may just be my crush once again eventually. But either way, I hope we can stay friends, because I don't really know what I'd do without your light teasing and inside jokes - they were always guaranteed to make me smile.

The Beginning: Day 1 - To My Best Friends

To My Best Friends -

Hello.

You all keep me going - you are my role models and every time I do something, my only wish is for you to be proud. We've been through many times: you've laughed with me (and most likely at me), cried with me, jokes with me, and have undoubtedly changed me into the person who I am today.

Without you all, I know that I wouldn't be where I am right now. You have not only pushed me to be the best person I can be, but also love me for who I am at this moment. You accept me and my craziness, my OCD tendencies, my organization and hyperactivity, my "off" moods, and my many stupid moments. You take all parts of me: the Southern Belle, the English girl, the studious worker, the carefree fun-lover, as well as the subtle variations and combinations of all of these.

Because of you, I have kept my sanity by losing it. And it's the crazy moments, the times that we roll off couches with tears streaming down our faces for no apparent reason, that I will remember forever. I can never repay you for everything that you have done for me, but I will try. I will try to make you proud, I will try to keep in touch. I will be there when you need a shoulder to cry on, or a second person for a happy dance. I will celebrate your successes, but will also be there when the world seems to turn against you. But most importantly, I will try to do everything in my power to be as good of a friend to you as you are to me, no matter how futile my efforts may be.

I love you all. And I look forward to more amazing times to come.