Day 250 - Back to School, Back to Craziness.

Sorry for no post in a while - I've been kind of busy with the beginning of school. But here's what's been going on:

Sunday everyone just hung out - we had a "family" reunion dinner, and just went all over the place for food, hanging out, and desserts. Monday was a blast: a group of us dressed up in our favorite sundresses, coats, and boots and treked over to the Law Quad in a misty rain and the cold to take some amazing "family" photos. It was a blast, except for the fact that I had goosebumps for hours afterward. The pictures turned out really well, and I've already gotten some of them printed at CVS to put on my photo wall.

Tuesday was the beginning of classes, and boy, did I have to hit the ground running. I had class from 11-4, with no breaks in between. But here's a recap:

11-12: Linear Algebra. Overall, the class went well; the material we're learning right now is painfully boring, but the teacher is decent. It seems as if he isn't comfortable speaking in front of people, because his hand kept shaking, and he wouldn't look anyone in the eye. Though he's not a bad teacher, the class seemed to drag on - I'm not sure whether it was the slow progress of the material, or whether it was just because it was the first class of the year. Anyway, I checked my watch (or, rather, Henry's watch) about every 2 minutes beginning 20 minutes into class (it's a 50 minute class).

12-1: Honors Calculus 3. This. Class. Is. Amazing. I love love love the professor, and the material isn't going too quickly. I mean, it probably helps that I have seen the material before (I took a Calc 3 online course in high school), but still. The professor said we could call him Alejandro, as long as we didn't sing the Lady Gaga song when we said it. He's pretty funny. He also said that the quintessential image we need ingrained in our mind to picture 3-D space is a cereal box. Preferably Lucky Charms. Yes, he is that amazing.

1-2:30: Literary Theory. The professor is British, so I don't mind listening to her talk, though the classroom was unbearably stuffy and there seemed to be way too many people in a tiny little room. I had a friend in this class, so it was great to have a familiar face (I have groups of friends in both math classes) ,and I also saw some people from my English classes from last semester, which was great as well. Unfortunately, I sat right next to a guy who I wanted to punch in the face whenever he raised his hand. Really, though, this guy was a major prick: name-dropping who he had read, acting all snobby, throwing out fancy words just to raise himself up. We had to write our own definition of "literature" and he made his all complex and everything, then scoffed when I gave mine. I was like, "Hey dude, I understand that I don't use hoity-toity words in my definition, but that doesn't mean that my opinion on what literature is is any less valuable than yours." But I didn't. I wish I had the guts to.

2:30-4: Asian-American Literature. This was the class I was most hesitant about. It was the last one I chose, and was the class that put me at 18 credits (the maximum allowed in one semester). Overall, it was really fun. Our teacher spent the first half hour or so having us pass our Chi around the room - she wanted the "good energy" to flow through us. Then we decided that what we learned from the exercise was that she was Crazy. With a capital C. The syllabus doesn't look too bad - lots of online readings and such, until the end of the semester, where she wants us to read two books a week. That might be a problem.

After class, I went to the Cupcake Station with some friends to pick up cupcakes (did you guess that?) for a friend's birthday. She turned 20. It's crazy how old we're all getting.

We had dinner at a nice dorm, and then had a hall meeting at 9:00. Pretty standard. Don't smoke pot, don't drink copious amounts of alcohol, be respectful, clean the bathrooms, etc.. We went up and had cupcakes for the birthday celebration, and then I did homework and went to bed.

Today I had both math classes and another English course: Shakespeare's Early Plays. I've had the professor before (for Intro to Poetry last semester), and that was the reason I took the course. I think it's going to go well - yes, I have to read a play each week, and yes, it will be demanding. But he's such an amazing professor, I really don't mind.

What will be a problem is the fact that I intentionally made my schedule thinking that math homework would be due on Fridays, so I made my Thursday classes light (I only have two English classes tomorrow). But nope. In both of the math classes, the homework will be due on a Wednesday. And yes, I have 5 hours of class on Tuesdays.

This'll certainly be an interesting semester. But surprisingly, I really can't wait to see how it all turns out.

I have a feeling things will be great.

Day 246(?) - Cheering from the North

So much has happened in the last couple of days.

Thursday was full of packing, because Friday I moved into my dorm (the same dormitory as last year, same roommate, but different room). It was so humid yesterday - it felt like Louisiana right before the afternoon storm, but it stayed like that the entire day. It was amazing to see all of my friends again: Nicolette, Brighid, and Leah came later, but it was great to see Julia, Elizabeth, and Michelle before the day ended. I went to dinner with Julia and Anna, whi was dressed as Madonna for spirit practice for color guard (the flags on the field during the pre-game and half-time show).

Today I woke up early and a group of 11 of us went to the local Farmer's Market. I snapped some nice shots, and got a great loaf of bread to make sandwiches.

We came back to the dorm for brunch (I missed the vanilla cinnamon bagels oh so much) and then split up to just hang out for a bit. I worked on room decorations and finally finished putting all of my photos up. It's crazy how quickly school has become to feel like home. After that, I went to Espresso Royale to read with a friend (we were using it for the air conditioning) and then followed it up with a visit to Starbucks to meet with a girl I met last year in my poetry class. It was so nice to see her again, and we definitely still have a lot to talk about.

I came back to my dorm and just putzed around for a bit - hung out with other people, and ended up going back to the Farmer's Market to pick up some extra virgin olive oil to dip the bread in (I didn't realize when I bought it that it was the type of bread for oil, not margarine). They didn't have any normal containers to put it in (it was a co-op grocery store, and the oil was in a tub with a spigot), so I grabbed the next best thing: a bear people usually put honey in. His name is Giuseppe, the Italian honey bear. We figured Italian bears would like oil better than honey anyway.

I had an amazing dinner date with one of my friends, and then a bunch of people came to hang out in our room. Oh, and the power went out. For an hour and a half. It was great. Really.
I bonded with my hall mates by bringing them cookies, and we actually got to know each other, all while playing Catch Phrase and Taboo. It was really fun, until someone told us the power was back on. Then everyone dispersed. Then people came over.

I went to take a shower (about a half hour ago) and because it's a bit of a walk to the bathroom, I brought a bathrobe this year. It's pretty. But pretty short. Still decent, but short (not one of the ones that goes down to your ankles). Anyway, I was coming back from the shower and there were two guys trying to hide a beer box in the recycling, and they let me through without too much trouble. They were honestly kind of embarrassed (they're freshman, and I was a sophomore girl standing with dripping hair while they struggled with folding a box ... I'd be embarrassed too). I passed their room, and a guy comes out holding an unopened beer bottle. I pass him, and the next thing I know, I hear a low whistle.

It's clear that they're keeping it classy.

As strange as it was ... I do have to admit that it's nice to know that I'm somewhat decent looking even after I've stepped out of the shower. :)

Day 244 - Thank You.

Wow. It's been crazy, this past week or so. We've not had Internet, but I just fixed it yesterday. Now I'm trying to get organized during packing, but it's not going too well. Oh well. At least I have a nice sign for my roommate for when she gets to school.

Yesterday I helped my mom in her classroom, and saw an old mentor. And I thought it would be a good occasion for a letter.

Dear Mr. P,

Thank you. I know those aren't words enough to express my gratitude to you, but it's the only thing I can think to say.

You've helped me. More so than you can even imagine. Our before-school chats would always start the day off right, and you were one of the few adults who I could talk freely to about anything and everything: school stresses, plans for the future, worries about what is to come. Boys. Clubs. Friends. Non-friends. Everything. And as strange as it sounds, you've turned into the confident that I wish I shared with my dad. Leo is so lucky to grow up with you.

Last November, I came in to talk to you during my Thanksgiving Break. I was stressed, and wondering whether I would every truly love Michigan. And I must admit, your words spoke wonders. You gave me the advice everyone else was giving: follow your heart. But when you said it, you also told me your opinion: I needed to do English. And maybe it's because of you that I am an English major today. You've inspired me, and have showed me that an English major really can be successful.

I went to visit you yesterday, and it was even better. We talked about school, my trepidations (you called me crazy), as well as what's been going on with you. I didn't realize how much of a big deal you are :P.

Day ??? - Losing Track

I've lost track of where I am on the countdown. I'll be more on the ball in a little while. But, in the mean time.

1 week. The time until I am at a home again.
1 week. The time since I have left my other home.

I miss them both terribly. The south and school. And right now, I'm in a place that isn't home. I'm in a place that I don't belong.

I'm in my hometown, but so much has changed. I've changed. And though I know that change is good, I still don't like the feeling that I don't fit in anymore.

The old group of my friends hangs out without me. Do things that I don't necessarily agree with, but which distance them from me all the same.

I don't talk to the people I used to. And when we do talk, it's different. Strange. Abnormal.

I miss the person who made this feel a little more like home. The person I came back for, but now she's gone. And I know it's for the best. She needed to go, and I knew she was going to, but it doesn't make it any easier. It's hard, balancing letting her know that I miss her and trying not to make her miss home even more.

In 1 week, I'll be back at school, with the  friends I have made throughout the year. I'll be back with people who understand me, and who don't pressure me to change. I'll be back in my own room, with my roommate, chatting about the summer and making plans for the future.

A couple of weeks from that, I'll be on a plane headed down south for the weekend. Back to where life is normal, and to a place where I can catch up with summer friends, and speak with a drawl without people making fun of it.

Right now I'm in a place of transition. I'm in a place that used to be something, but that now is just ... nothing.

I'm not home. And I wish I were.

Day 217-226 - Letters

I'm sorry I haven't posted. I've been busy packing [I'm leaving Louisiana tomorrow morning] and it's been family time. But I've been thinking of some people, and want to write some letters.

Dear Gram,
It's been a while since I've written to you, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not only the lack of communication, but because I know you're probably upset that I'm leaving Louisiana so soon. There are three weeks left until I start my sophomore year of college, and though that could mean more time in Baton Rouge, I'm going up north to see friends before they leave, and repack for the new year.

I thought of you a lot when I went to visit Mema. I love her, but I must admit, every time I see her, it makes me miss you more. I printed a photo of us when I was a baby, and it's going on my wall at school. That way, I'll remember how much you loved me, and how much you still do. You can watch me as I grow up, and change. But don't worry, I'll always remember my roots.

I just learned you were a Pi Beta Phi. And maybe it means something that you were one. I've been debating rushing in the fall, been going back and forth on whether to go for it or not, to make Mema and my dad's side of the family happy. Truth be told, I wasn't all that into it, because I didn't want to be doing it just for them. But when my mom said you were a Pi Phi too, that cinched the deal. I want to be connected to you in another way, and the fact that you were one makes me believe they stand behind good causes, and are good people. It'll give me another way to be reminded of you, and I'll follow in your footsteps. I want to make you proud.

That's my ultimate goal, I guess. To make myself happy, and to make you proud. Though I know you aren't here physically to tell me your opinions, I have faith in the little signs you seem to send: a rainbow after I make a good decision, a piece of news to help. I remember the day I really needed you, the day I ended my first love. I was crying in a hotel room in New Orleans, it was raining outside, and Robert was with his girlfriend at the pool. And when I finally got up, I looked outside, and saw it had stopped raining. I couldn't see a rainbow, but I knew there was one. And something told me you were there.

Just like you always are.

I love you so much, Gram. And I want to make you proud.

I want to be a Pi Phi.

Love,
your ballerina.

Dear B,

I've been thinking of you, but we haven't talked. And I know why: I de-friended you on Facebook, and we haven't really talked on the phone or texted since we broke up. But I just wanted to let you know that you were in my dream last night.

We were at someone's house ... I recognized the floor plan, but couldn't figure out whose house it was. We were finally talking, and I was so happy you would respond to me. But then we kissed. And I really can't believe that my heart could beat that fast in a dream. It was like real life, but I still knew it was a dream.

But the doubts came, just like they did when we were together. I was worried you were with Hannah, someone who goes to your church and who you hang out with. You two banter, and I have had ideas in the past about you two. I'm just surprised they came into my dream.

It was all so real. I really can't believe it, but it's true.

I'm writing this letter here because I need to get it out. I need to write this somewhere, and I figure that this blog is as good a place as any; at least it's better than writing the letter and actually sending it to you. I've thought of that before. When I get fortunes from cookies that I think you would enjoy, or postcards I giggle at, or just song lyrics that remind me of you. I have this urge to write it on a scrap of paper and just send it. No need for a return address.

But I'm afraid you would know it was me. And I'm afraid to know what would happen. I mean, the last time we talked, I found out you had just asked out another girl. That was the same day I realized that I really did love like you. And it was two days before I left for the summer for a place you probably still don't believe is my home. I've wondered what it'll be like once I'm back up north. Whether we'll see each other; whether you'll know I'm back; whether you'll even care.

I wonder whether we'll run into each other in a store, or on the street. Whether you'll look out your window as I run past, or go to the park the same day I do as I try to recreate some of the Louisiana sunshine. I wonder ... whether you'll think of everything that's gone on between us and be saddened, like I am. If you'll think of all the memories, of all the "could have beens," or even the "should have beens," and want to reconnect.

A lot of wondering has gone on. And more probably will. But I know that there will be no answers, because I am me, and you are you, and we aren't what we were before. I just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking of you. And if you look at either of my blogs, I'm sure you'll see that you're on my mind.

I miss you, Probably more that both of us is willing to admit.

C.

Day 213 - 216 - Delayed Delta and "Tea" Parties

Monday 8/1
I went to the airport at 5:00 a.m., only to find that my 6:30 flight was delayed until 7:30. Thanks Delta for letting me know I could have slept in another hour. The delay was then pushed back until 9:10, and so I had to rebook my connecting flight. No big deal. But then they up and cancelled the flight. So I had to completely rebook my travel plans, and the stupid people at the counter were saying that the best they could do was have me land in Tampa, Florida at 1 a.m.. Sorry, buddy, but that just wasn't going to work.

I eventually got a flight out of New Orleans, so my mom drove me down there, and I landed in Tampa at 6:45 (I was originally supposed to get in at 12:35 p.m.). I went to my grandmother's house and basically just fell asleep after eating some dinner.

Tuesday 8/2
My grandma and I went shopping and I got a rather adorable black cardigan. It has rosettes and a scoop neckline. I'm in love with it, and I may have a slight obsession with rosettes.

My grandma invited some of her friends over for a "tea" party. Mostly they drank wine, with a couple people (including myself) opting for water. Gossip and goodies were shared. We took pictures.

Wednesday 8/3
My grandma and I basically just hung around her house. I gave her a computer lesson (which she will promptly forget) and a cell phone lesson (for which she had all the directions and just hadn't taken the time to learn). Quite honestly, that's all we did. Or all that's worth noting.

Thursday 8/4
I hung around at my grandma's for the morning, and then drove to the airport in a massive thunderstorm. It was amazing.

My flight from Tampa went pretty well - there was no overweight neighbor passenger, and the flight only left about 15 minutes late (not bad considering my first day of travel!). The problems started when I arrived in Atlanta. First, I had to get a seat assignment, which actually wasn't too bad. But then the plane was delayed 15 minutes ... 30 minutes ... the pilots came off (with their luggage). We moved to a different gate, with a different plane. We got on. We waited. An hour.

By the time we finally took off, we were supposed to have landed in Raleigh. But it all worked out - I landed at 11:30ish and my cousin came to get me. We chatted for a bit once we got back to her house, and finally crashed into bed around 2:00 a.m.

Though I loved visiting my grandma an seeing her friends again, it's also really nice to be with someone around my age (my cousin is older, but we still have fun). I'm not sure what today will bring, but I'll be sure to keep everything updated while I have access to WiFi!

Day 209 - 212 - Lazy Louisiana

I apologize for the lack of posts. The last week has been absolutely crazy, and I think you'll see why. I'm breaking up the week into two chunks: pre-leaving and post-leaving.

Thursday 7/28
From what I can remember, nothing much happened this day. My mom and I went to get some school supplies, and just hung around for most of the day. I believe we went tanning, as well, and I got more color.

Friday 7/29
More lazy day. My dad worked for most of the day, but when he came home, my mom and I tanned by the pool. My dad was supposed to join us, but got caught up inside with something (cleaning the coffee maker, maybe?) and by the time he was going to come down, it had started pouring. That's basically how the last week has been in Baton Rouge: rainy. Lots and lots of rain.

Saturday 7/30

My parents and I went over to one of my dad’s coworker’s houses tonight for dinner. I knew they had kids, but I didn’t realize they have the four most adorable little daughters on the face of the planet.

Highlights of the evening:

• “Momma, where that cute little boy at?” Referring to my dad.
• Watching the four of them do a true wrestle-mania on the living room couch.
• Fixing the DVD player, and finding that Gracie has a huge crush on Joey Parker (Drew Seeley) in Another Cinderella Story.
• Having Mackenzie, the youngest, climb into my mom’s lap.
• Having my photo taken a lot because “your phone is cool!”
• “Huggling” - cross between hugging and cuddling. Used to get everyone into the photo.
• “Squish more!!”
• Molly asking me to sleep over.
• Playing airplane.
• Watching Gracie eat mass amounts of bread … but only the insides.
• “Kitty!!”
• Hearing what they were “fixin’” to do.
• “Daddy, who’s dippin’ the ice cream?”

It was a good night overall. I have officially lost my heart to the four girls (Maddie, Gracie, Molly, and Mackenzie) and their southern drawls. I absolutely cannot wait to see them again.

Sunday 7/31

I finished packing for my trip and just lazed around all day. I went to bed super early, because my alarm was set for 4:30 a.m. on Monday. It was a pretty rude awakening, but it all worked out. I made sure the fish were all clean and fed and everything, showered and straightened my hair in order to look good in the airport and not have to deal with a hot appliance in the wee hours of the morning. I think I went to bed somewhere around 8:30 p.m., and slept throughout the night. I was rather surprised.