I've been pondering this all day. And there's been a great debate. Hopefully I'll be able to draw some conclusions in this post .... I apologize in advance if there seems to be any mental vomit.
I'm not really sure if I have someone to address this to. Certainly I have said "I love you" to people: my parents, my family, my (now ex-) boyfriend. Even to some friends. But I don't really think that any of them fit the label of "first love."
Don't get me wrong - I don't throw those three words around like they're nothing. When I said them, especially to non-family members, I meant them ... at the time. I was feeling a strong emotion, an emotion that I hadn't experienced before. But looking back on it, I think that feeling might have just been "extreme like."
Have I thought that I truly love someone? Absolutely. But the way events played out, I don't think it was true love, on either of our parts. If it was, then things wouldn't have gone the way they did. There wouldn't have been gaps between us; we wouldn't have grown apart.
I believe that a person can only feel "true love" once. And your "first love" should also be your last one - for true love doesn't come and go. It doesn't wither away. It's ever-present, and immortal. Certainly there will be the mislabeled relationships, the 3-word phrase will get tossed around, and it will be convincing. But in a later relationship, it'll be clear that what you thought was "love" really wasn't. But maybe this new relationship is.
I'm no love expert. Heck, I'm no expert in anything. The only thing I know is that my first love doesn't exist. There is no one to address this post to. And I'm sorry if that surprises you.
If only this prompt had stated "your first 'extreme like'." But that doesn't have nearly as nice a ring to it, now does it?
No comments:
Post a Comment