Day 79 - Something you regret

There are a lot of things I regret. I'm not kidding when I say that there are uncountably many instances where I wish I could go back in time and make another decision, or say something differently, or just take an opportunity that was given to me. Some of these moments are minor: I regret eating something, or saying something with a certain intonation. I regret not calling someone when I said that I would, or breaking a promise that I could have kept if only I had changed some of my priorities. But one of my biggest regrets, one that I've been thinking about a lot recently? That's easy.

I regret not moving when I had the chance. Granted, I know that my parents didn't want me to change schools during my senior year of high school, and I guess I'm thankful that they didn't (I would have hated it at the time, and the school I was at was much better than any school I could have gone to in Baton Rouge). But I still sometimes wish that I had moved, that we wouldn't have had to spend the year apart, and that I could have made friends where I now consider home.

Looking back on it, it really wouldn't have been all that bad. Yes, I'd have left my friends in Michigan, but there's also mass amounts of technology, and flights aren't too expensive if you shop around for them. I would have missed some of the senior year activities, and budding relationships. But honestly? I could have still attended the important things in Michigan - friends would have gotten me into the dances, and there are homecoming festivities in Baton Rouge. I still would have the college opportunities that I have now, and wouldn't really have suffered academically (after all, I could have always just taken more college courses or something).

The major difference would be that we would have been together. And recently, I've missed that. I've missed the family time that we've been deprived of for almost two years now. I've missed having family meals, and bantering with both parents. I've missed being together. Together for more than a meal. Together for more than a weekend, or a school break.

Louisiana wouldn't have been that bad. I could have made friends. I could have started a new life, and escaped all the drama in Michigan. I could have formed relationships in a place that will be home, instead of investing everything I had into relationships that have either cracked or broken completely. I could have become the "me" I am seeing now, the Southern "me," and the independent "me."

I could have .... if only I did.