Day 68 - A moment

A moment. Just one? Alright.

July 14th, 2011.

I had must had my graduation open house 3 days before - and we were still cleaning up from it. There was food to distribute, lists of gifts and thank you cards to be made, and addresses to be compiled. Oh yeah, and there was the need to pack to leave for five weeks. I remember my mom and I's to-do list was daunting: clean the house, set the timers, remember to give a house key to the people watching the cats, get the cats set up (move the litter box, exchange food dishes), lock doors and windows, call the police, pack our things, pack the car, make sure we have everything. And hit the road at 7:00 the next morning.

I didn't really want to leave, but at the same time, I felt like I was ready to. Granted, I was leaving all of my friends for the best time of summer: the time when graduation obligations slow down, and the lazy days of summer start to pass you by. The days filled with sitting by the pool, or running to Seven Eleven were about to be left behind, in exchange for sweltering heat and isolation (except for technology). I knew it had been coming, and I looked at it as if it were practice for college - I mean, after all, in just a few short months, we were all going to be separated anyways. Why not try to strengthen our long-distance bond before we were thrown into the craziness of college?

It was all planned out in theory. I was going to text, and Skype, and chat with my friends sometime during each day. There was no way I couldn't. But what I didn't expect was the confusion that went along with what happened: on one hand, I knew that I was "home" - Baton Rouge is where my family is, and that's where home should be. But on the other, I was upset about all of the things that I was missing in Michigan, all the parties that were going on, all the bonding taking place.

The day before we left Michigan was a mix of emotions. I wanted to see everyone, but yet I also wanted alone time. I needed to say goodbye, but would rather have said "see you later." I wanted to tie up loose ends, but was afraid that I wouldn't be able to tighten the knots once I left.

I wanted to go. I wanted to stay. But you know what I've realized since that day?

It probably made me grow more as a person than graduation did. And it prepared me for the emotions that would come with moving to college, and with declaring Baton Rouge my home (if not my hometown).